Sunday, August 13, 2017

FLOOD OF RECENT CAR BREAK-INS SHOW LOSS OF TENS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF HALF DRANK STARBUCKS CUPS, OLD RECIEPTS, AND KEYS THAT YOU'RE NOT SURE WHAT THEY WENT TO.

 

Over the last few months reports of late night car break-ins have flooded social media boards leaving locals in a panic. Fruit n' Nut, Meadowbook, and Arbor Gates are just a few neighborhoods reported to have been hit by the thieves. What is scarier is that no person have been identified yet as a suspect after so many robberies, and hoards of loot has been carried off.

Local Police have calculated the loss of items to range from $10-$14 at least. Of the Booty collected, the list goes on and on, but we do know the most common items plundered from the parked unlocked vehicles are: nearly 125 receipts were stolen mostly from Walgreens (enough paper to wrap around the globe twice), 38 half drank paper cups from Starbucks, petty change, 14 unremarkable brown rocks placed in the side panel by toddlers, 98 bill envelopes, and single old keys that nobody is sure what they went to or where they came from (but we're scared to throw them away just in case).

We are unsure why the thieves are doing this as they generally spend more money in gas to drive around than make stealing the old receipts. Police speculate that there probably is one dummy that will leave a $800 handgun in an unlocked car overnight, and that haul will more than compensate for a thieves gas money for the whole year. 

TFI urges the community to throw away your car trash to deter the would be thieves, and instead of storing your firearms in the glovebox overnight, instead put them in your refrigerator like the manufacturers suggest.

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