Wednesday, January 8, 2020

State of Alabama puts city of Satsuma in a Wal-Mart bag and gives to Florida.

The Tradition of packing up a sack of fresh Satsumas into a Wal-Mart sack and presenting them to your friends and neighbors is as old as the Alabama itself. Of course, burlap sacks were used instead of plastic bags, and instead of friends and neighbors, they were given to the Spanish and were told these were native tomatoes.  Many Paella were ruined in those days, and those seeking to make a Bloody Mary ended up creating Screwdrivers instead.

As tribute to the time honored Satsuma-giving tradition, the State of Alabama has sacked up the entire city of Satsuma, which lies just outside of Mobile, and gifted the city to Florida. It was no easy feat to fit the city into a Wal-Mart sack. After many failed attempts, engineers decided to use a Sam's Club jumbo sack instead, which easily held the population of the town along with all of the property therein. Now where there was once a city, Alabama will place an upscale vacation resort with funds that would otherwise go to local jail food spending.

Don't think Alabama didn't get anything in return for the gift. As a token of gratitude, Florida has given Alabama a bag of Naval Oranges, an alligator full of Busch Light, and a time share of Tim Tebow for the month of July. Alabama hasn't announced what they will do with Tebow in July as of yet.

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