Monday, November 27, 2023

Fairhope City Officials uncertain what to do about "Dark Grimace" emerging from recently burned McDonald's.


Like a Phoenix rises from the ashes, Dark Grimace stunned Fairhope residents on Thanksgiving Day when he slowly emerged out of the burning McDonald's building on Greeno Rd. The fire was reportedly started when a worker constructed a McRib that was just too good for the earth's atmosphere to handle and the resulting aftermath was too much for emergency services to handle. At some point in the night, Fairhope's volunteer fire crew noticed a large figure slowly rising from the burned roof, and before they knew it, Dark Grimace was towering above them. McDonald's responded earlier this morning confirming the story, and states they had been expecting this for some time. What separated Dark Grimace from his counterpart is mostly just size, the ominous lack of pupils, his unclear motivation, and his ability to read the minds of some birds. The Fairhope City Council is currently in meeting trying to figure out how to monetize the situation, and the best plan so far is to adopt grimace into a Bumble-Rudolph type of situation, employing him to put stars on  Christmas Trees and towing cars during Art Walk. 

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