Thursday, March 2, 2017

THE CIVIL WAR RAGES ON IN FAIRHOPE AS "YANKEES" TARGET CIVILIAN IN CROWDS


People on the Eastern Shore are well aware of the terrorism that exist in our own back yard. It seems that with every parade or festivity where large crowds of hundreds of people gather together it never fails that a Fairhoper comes forth on their blog or through Facebook to tell of horrific stories about the Yankees pushing and shoving their way into our southern space. Apparently during Saturdays Mystic Mutts parade downtown some of the Northern Aggressors were being extra greedy with throws. Reports have also been made similarly during the annual tree lighting and pretty much any crowded event. Can you imagine someone shoving in a crowd of 500 people? The question is why do they do this? Well TFI did some deep investigating on the issue.
We went into the belly of the beast so to say to see how the enemy works.... St. Paul, Minnesota. There we visited a local parade celebrating hockey or cheese or something. Well what we experienced was shocking! It was practically a "mosh pit" with people trampling over each other, fighting, and stealing candy from babies. I was nearly trampled to death.
Of course the term Yankee or Snowbird has come to mean something different now on the Eastern Shore. It's not so much a person re-located from the north, but now more of a blanket on Facebook term for any A#shole you happen to meet i.e "A stupid Yankee was talking on his phone behind me at the movies!". Just two weeks ago a man casually expressed to me "Nothing makes me sicker than these Snowbirds coming down here to just breathe our God-given southern air!". I waited for him to laugh or even smile but the man frowned and grew slightly re-faced just thinking about it. This really happened! There are real live people around us that are presently angry at other people for... breathing. Whats ironic is that this is a prominent business owner that relies heavily on tourists for income.
The moral of the story is that there are assholes everywhere no matter what age, sex, religion, or race. It's best to just display the Southern Hospitality that we're known for the world over no matter what the person is doing. I recommend a day where we all just go and hug one of our tourists. Find the fanny packed lady with the visor and the "Life's a Beach" t-shirt and just wop a big smacker on her and tell her you appreciate her. Maybe even offer to buy her a slice of apple pie with a slice of cheese on it. I hear they like that.

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