Thursday, March 2, 2017

Investigation finds little plastic Jesus babies turn out to be molded in the image of a Florida Man

A startling confession shook the South this morning when a man in west Florida opened up about the true identity of the plastic King Cake baby. After one too many Busch Lights, Ricky Hamben took to Facebook to share his secret. Apparently, 32 years ago the giant manufacturer of assorted plastics Hasbro used Ricky's unusual likeness to mold the design of the original plastic baby Jesus. Plastering a real baby was deemed unethical, but Ricky's abnormally large head and cherub-like rear end was just what Hasbro was looking for. For just two tickets to the Daytona 500, Ricky waived all royalties and was immortalized forever.
Ricky Hamby
TFI got a quick chance to speak to Ricky this morning. He states:

"You know... every time I saw a family eating a King Cake (starts crying)... They thought it was Jesus they almost swallowed, but it was just me. It was just me. Just me."

Many bakeries from Pensacola all the way to Houston are scrambling to re-label the delicious pastries now that the term "King Cake" is not acceptable. We've spoke to the local Warehouse Bakery in Fairhope who will now label the dessert "Ricky Round Rolls". Publix supermarket chain has also went another direction with advertising offering "Ricky Rings" with the usual fillings of cream cheese and strawberry, but now serving a new cake with wintergreen Skoal chewing tobacco filling.

After an amazing morning of incredible news We at TFI are most impressed by how many people have Googled "What is the plural form of Jesus?".

No comments:

Post a Comment

  BREAKING: Changes to the First Baptist church steeple are nearing completion early Thursday morning. The church is graciously accepting a ...