Thursday, August 24, 2017

The Burrow Coffee Shop: A TFI Review

Last week while sitting on my back porch I happened to overhear a conversation between an Owl and an Opossum. They were talking about a new coffee shop in Fairhope near the hospital called "The Burrow". Of course they weren't speaking English, I had just taken way too much cough syrup and Advil and thought I could understand the creatures. I chalked it up to a hallucination which made me feel less guilty about grilling the Opossum later that night. The strange thing is I heard several humans mention the shop the same week and I had not taken any cough syrup. I decided to check it out.

Yesterday I donned my favorite Harry Potter cloak to match the overall theme of the coffee shop, and the iconic lightning bolt scar on my forehead. Pro-tip: Grilled Opossum tail makes an excellent wand. I Ventured to the shop which is conveniantly located right beside Thomas (Riddle?) Hospital. I was immediately applauded as I entered for my amazing costume with my magic Opposum Wand. I decided to appease the crowd with a few waves of my wand and chanting the famous line "Didelphidae!", this left the crowd stunned (almost two of the patrons even looked up from their computers!).

I ordered the Butter beer, which consists of a Miller High Life with a cold stick of Land O' Lakes margarine floating in the middle, just like it's described in the books. The Coffee Shop really goes out of it's way to stick with the Harry Potter theme, even in the bathrooms. The toilet seems to be a one way street to the Ministry of Magic, a pleasant place to send your "Horcrux" after a strong morning Americano. I really felt like a star with my Ravenclaw cape and attire too. At one point, a female approached me to probably ask for my phone number or Owl P.O Box or whatever. She in fact asked me to leave as my "wand smells like vulture poop", which I take as some kind of female code for she thinks I'm cute. Everyone knows when girls be mean to you it means they like you. She didn't have to call the cops though and start physically spraying me with Febreeze.

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