Thursday, October 5, 2017

Husband fights with wife about who was on whose side, and wins! Now a group has formed fighting for bed equality rights for men.

Marvin Stanley went to bed Thursday night just like any other night of the week. Except, tonight he would break every law set by today's society, and venture to cross over into his wife's side of the bed. Upon the exact moment of the encroachment, his wife Theresa cried out in alarm "Honey, for the love of God please get on your side!", then threatened to take his life with an imminent barrage of pillow attacks.

On a normal night Marvin would have scuttled back to his edge of the bed and given up. On this night however, Marvin was hyped up on the new flavor of Mountain Dew, and he challenged Theresa retorting "I'm only 6 inches from the edge!". Theresa wasn't going to take this sitting down. She assessed her proximity to the edge and claimed "Well I'm literally hanging halfway off the bed!". It's hard to beat someone who is hanging halfway off the bed, especially "literally". At this point most husbands give up the argument and except the punishment of getting all of the covers taken away immediately. Marvin didn't give up though. He chose the path less traveled risking everything to pave the way for husbands and wives of future generations. Marvin paused for a moment before exclaiming "Well, Honey... I'm literally laying in the floor right now, and I can see that your'e at least a foot and a half from your edge!". He then removed his sunglasses and tossed them aside as two Bald Eagles few overhead carrying American Flags.

Mrs. Marvin was reported to have grunted after she mumbled "Whatever." and went back to sleep. A local peeping tom had witnessed the whole scene from the beginning, and he immediately contacted every news source with the breaking news. Since then, a group of Alabama men have organized the group "Take Our Covers Back!", a movement created to give men confidence to ask for equal opportunities with blankets, bed space, and pillow quality. This is all great news to doghouse manufacturers who have seen production rise 150% in Alabama alone this week.

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