Friday, December 14, 2018

Fairhope French Quarter to become more authentic with new features.





Fairhope's lovely French Quarter district will now offer residents the real NOLA experience, with many new details including: Passed out junkies, costumed freaks, nude people who should probably should never be nude, and drunks who are unconscious but still somehow walking upright. The new features come with great excitement for our community since we all would love the real French Quarter experience without having to drive though Mobile to make that happen.

The new cast of drunken exhibits will be a mix of paid actors and also a special collection of real passed out folks collected directly off Bourbon Street and brought to Fairhope by van. It's not technically kidnapping if you give them beignets. As of right now, the City is still hiring drunken bachelorette parties to parade the quarter daily.

Panini Pete is especially thrilled about the new changes coming next year as he plans to use the passed out junkies as placeholders for customers waiting in line.

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