The best Fairhope Halloween Costumes for 2019!

 

The Best Fairhope Halloween Costumes 2019

#1. Cam Newton-  

People have been giving Cam grief about his latest press conference outfits, but personally I think It's Dope. I think this outfit would make a great gag costume this year. Unfortunately, it might cost a fortune to re-create.

#2. Rock Creek Rabid Fox-     

Easy and fun idea. Just wander around golf courses biting people. Add some foaming at the mouth for a special effect.

 #3. A Jubilee-  

Have your partner or friend follow behind with a cooler and a gig while ever so often poking you. A good rub down with some bait fish days prior can having you smelling the part.

#4. The Famous Fairhope Clock-

You can tell this is the TRUE Fairhope Clock with it's attention to detail: numbers, round, big hand, little hand, pretty much spot on. Your friend can dress as the Boutique Hotel and constantly ensure you that they won't ditch you at the party.

#5.  THIS. 

Not sure what this is supposed to be... Let's see, a normal guy with chocolate with a hippie girl and a guy in a wheelchair? Nothing comes to mind. Anyway it seems funny.

#6. Lickin' Good Donuts

As you can see Fairhope PD loves some Lickin' Good Donuts. If you know you're going to be breaking the law on Halloween this year, this may be your best option.

TFI Food Review: Murdering my appetite @ Cereal Killer!

I often find myself roaming around Fairhope on a Saturday with the sole intention of expending my kid's energy, so that soon after we can all take naps. That's why I consistently find myself at The Mill, a funky warehouse with a kids play area and several small restaurant venues, located Downtown Fairhope. Once inside, I unlock my children's leashes and watch as they fade into the crowd of the other playing kids. Now it's time to chow.

The Mill has always been home to some of my favorite eats. It's really quite stressful for me to choose, and like a sensitive dog or parrot, the stress of choosing sometimes causes me to lose my hair and feathers. I chose Cereal Killer though, because they're the hippest new place in town, and by "Hippest" I mean they slightly scare the elderly. The culinary craftsmen Wade Price is the brains behind Cereal Killer and has come up with some gluttonous but worth-it sandwiches. Wade had spent his early years working with the FBI, and had an Holmes-esque knack for catching the country's worst criminals all with his masterpiece dishes. He once nearly brought down the Zodiac Killer with a Po-Boy, but the experience made him question his future and safety, so the next week he came to Fairhope and opened up shop. We don't know for sure if that is true exactly, but no one has yet denied it.

Ted Bundy, former Killer apprehended with a Po-Boy.

The Breakfast Banh Mi sandwich is a stack of Smoked Brisket, honey habanero aioli, slaw, liver pate, and jalepenos all on a French Baguette. This paired with the Truffle Tots and Killa Tots made for a epic meal that made my Cardiologist's spidey senses tingle with anxiety. This place really should be called Cereal and Lunch and Supper Killer because your'e not going to have room for any more food again today. The brisket was so tender and juicy that I had to go to the bathroom and give myself a sponge bath in the sink  after I had made such a mess of myself.

I felt bad for cheating on my friends at Ox Kitchen so I was obligated to stop by and pick up some Brussels Sprouts. For future reference: Brussels Sprouts are SUPER HEALTHY so if you eat them it pretty much negates the pound of greasy brisket you just ate.

City releases plan for Volanta Cat Park alongside Dog Park after complaints from local cat owners.

Fairhope Cat Owners have for many years felt disgruntled about the obvious speciesism against felines. The City places emphasis on it's love for dogs hosting many canine charities, parades, and dog friendly activities, while simultaneously sticking their rear ends up at cat owners. Several hundred dollars went in to the construction a Dog Only park on Volanta Street where cats are shunned and sometimes chased away from the gates by chihuahuas.

As a result of many petitions, Mayor Wilson has begun the development of a Cat Park alongside the Dog Park with many cat friendly amenities such as: Laser lights, Cat Towers, litter pools, and free roaming mice. The best feature, thanks to generous local furniture stores, is a plethora of expensive couches and chairs that the cats are welcome to completely destroy.

Look for the construction to begin this week, but don't expect it to be finished soon, as several street cats are sitting in front of the bulldozer as we speak, and don't seem likely to move any time soon.

Alabama Stuns SEC after signing Tua's Grandmother for 3rd string QB position.

It was a major slap in the face for the other collegiate football programs in the SEC today when Alabama's coach Nick Saban announced that he would be signing Tua Tagovailoa's 86 year old grandmother as 3rd string quarterback. The news came as a shock to many but Saban maintains that the move is perfectly legal as Mrs. Tagovailoa just enrolled at the University this semester. With a line-up of more push-over teams ahead in the schedule Saban states that Tua's Grandma will probably start and see more snaps than her grandsons. 

Many see the signing as a major victory for senior citizen rights, and she will surely be an example in the future. She has since become spokeswoman for the National Arthritis Foundation but maintains that she will receive no financial compensation.

A rather unfortunate tag...

Couples are applying to Fairhope Daycares on their First Date to get a head start on 6 year wait list.

With Fairhope's growing population and the boom in children conceived following the start of the annual Witch's Ride, it's getting harder and harder to get into Fairhope pre-school or daycare programs. Some programs are now expecting wait times for new children up to 6 years, which leaves parents with very little time to plan ahead. That's why savvy Fairhopers in-the-know are using their first date to apply to Daycare. A typical first date for a young Fairhope couple looks like this: Coffee and Pastries and Warehouse, then touring all the local daycares for the best program for your future hypothetical child, and lastly ending the night with cocktails at Tongue & Groove while pretending this 20 dollar Margarita isn't diminishing the last bit of your rent money.

These couples generally don't last very long, and when they inevitably dissolve, new spaces open up. You may think that they're crazy for taking these measures, but to take it a step further new parents in the area are registering their babies and future grandchildren up to 30 years in advance. Our family has registered the next couple generations of babies just in case Fairhope continues to grow. Of course, who knows if these Daycare facilities will even be around? I am personally betting on childcare to be outsourced to robots so I registered for the currently non-existent Fairhope Tesla Baby Development Factory opening up on Greeno in 2035.