Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Foley woman shocked to discover husband of 13 years was just a Wood Roach.

FAIRHOPE (AL)-  This Tuesday brought about panic at the Foley Winn-Dixie as local Virginia Dixon released a live 16 pound wood roach loose in the store. After the store was cleared out and authorities questioned Dixon, we discovered the 92 year old painter had been living under the notion that this roach was her beloved husband. Up until today, she had been living under a common law marriage to the roach happily in love.

Dixon stated that she never doubted her husbands biological form, most probably due to him always scurrying away in light. She also plans to continue their relationship and sees no reason to change things now. Coincidentally, Dixon also dated Paul McCartney for a short time.

The sudden enlightenment has caused one stir among the couple when it surfaced that Dixon has a history of Tweets discriminating against crickets. Crickets are generally well liked and many cricket support groups are calling for a public apology. The roach seems wholly unaffected by the drama.  

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