Monday, March 29, 2021

Large Tanker Ship blocks Gulf Shores canal, Bushwacker prices skyrocket.


Last week a large Tanker traveling through the Gulf found itself stuck in the Gulf Shores canal due to the dense fog. The ship was said to be carrying 100 tons of Canadian Geese to be used for the Fairhope beach this coming summer. The unfortunate side effect of the wedged ship is the ever growing price of the cocktail known as the Bushwacker. The Bushwacker is a drink best consumed on a boat or within the close vicinity of one, so with many blocked from their favorite venues, the prices are higher than ever. For those not familiar with the Bushwacker, its a cocktail that solves the classic problem of wanting to get hammered, but also wanting to gain 15 pounds in one evening. Many seedy characters are purchasing up the remaining stores of Bushwackers at Pirates Cove and reselling at much higher prices, even pirating other boats and stealing up ingredients. The problem will hopefully be resolved this week as the entire Gulf Shores and OBA emergency crews are throwing sticks at the stuck tanker. 

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