Friday, May 13, 2022

Lakewood Country Club set to sacrifice 3 peasants to celebrate new water slide.


The Prestigious and highly coveted Lakewood Country Club plans to up their sacrifices this year from 1 to 3 peasants, one of which is technically more of a lower middle-class man, so we'll say 3.15 peasants according to Google's Peasant to Middle Class conversion chart calculator. Peasant sacrificing took a hit for Lakewood with Covid-19 and workforce issues, but with greater incentives offered this year they were able to secure 3 willing participants. Each sacrifice was offered one free month of golf, a 90 minute massage in The Grand's Spa, and were offered leftovers from Point Clear's Supper Club. The ceremony will coincide with a picnic and wine tasting sponsored by Apothic Winery. 

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