Thursday, September 28, 2017

Fairhope Witches Ride Tickets become high value currency after beloved event sells out.


The 3rd Annual Witches Ride tickets went on sale this Tuesday, and just as quickly sold out all 750 charity funding tickets available. This led to mass pandemonium throughout the county as many witches-to-be started scrambling to find extras.

We knew these tickets would be valuable assets to hold, but Wednesday morning many minds were completely blown when Alecia Parkes of Point Clear sold her Orange Beach condominium for 4 tickets to the event. Hopping on board the Money Train, several other ticket holders started cashing in, trading tickets for Horses, Boats, and practically anything desirable.

The chaos over the tickets has now taken over the complete economy of Fairhope, as some experts believe. The US Dollar is now taken taken the back seat to the FWRT, or Fairhope Witches Ride Ticket. Several Fairhopers have transferred their bank account assets into FWRTs. A US Dollar translates to 1/1000th of a FWRT, and can be used at most Baldwin county business. The interesting aspect about the new economy in Fairhope is that it will completely reset every year after the witches ride, rendering old FWRT currency useless. In this circumstance, wealth is determined by ability to purchase tickets at the event each year. A Socialistic new economy unlike anything ever seen before...

Senator Bernie Sanders has proposed a new bill to put the entire U.S Government on the FWRT financial system. Some representatives from both sides of the aisle who have seen pictures of the Witches Ride agree that it looks very fun, which could mean the bill passes easily.

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