Hundreds of Southerners fear Premature Evacuation during date with Irma

As Hurricane Irma looms over the South like the eye of the devil himself many wonder if we should go ahead and evacuate our homes now. A Cat 5 storm hitting our coast could bring winds up to 180mph, enough force to send the geese back to Canada. They say run from water and hide from wind, but according to local grocery chains the entire county has run TO water, buying all of the bottled water from many of the local chains. If you do need back-up water and it's too late, stock up on Grapico soda instead. It's just as cheap, tastes better, and has a good exfoliating effect on your skin with showered with. We're all crossing our fingers it turns it's path and heads straight for North Korea though.