Friday, September 15, 2017

Local Disc Golfers complain to City Council about increasing spider populations interrupting their Pot smoking-

During Monday's City Council meeting many Fairhope residents voiced their complains about the Disc Golf course in the Public Park. The primary complaint was the increasing population of Banana Spiders taking up residence in the bushes and trees surrounding the area. When pressed further about the issue we learned that the spiders were simply interrupting the routine of smoking cannabis for many of the players.

 Their reasoning stated that the spiders have taken over many nooks and crannies where many would
"Chill Out" looking for "Good Vibes" and such. The other complaint was that the spiders were becoming more and more scarier the more intoxicated the golfers got. What most people are unaware of, as we learned through the National Disc Golf Association, is that smoking Cannabis is an actual crucial part of playing Disc Golf, similar to "warming up" for exercise this process primes the disc golfers mind to play to his/her full potential. The NDGA cites that the Pot distracts the golfer's mind from the stress of throwing properly, and instead the golfer can more easily focus on Cheetos or the meaning of life.

The Council has not yet commented on it's plans to eradicate the spiders, but insiders tell us local knitters are being commissioned to knit the spiders tiny hats to make them less scary. Others in the community have pointed out on Social Media that Pot is an illegal drug that should not be catered to. The City has responded to this stating that if we lose the Pot Head Community then the local Coffee Shops and Organic Eateries would surely suffer.

1 comment:

  1. Do not harm the innocent spiders... did you know you can spin their web fibers? Maybe that can be the new fashion. Clothes actually super light made of spider silk. We could breed the spiders to create different colors, or even variegated. Keep the spiders!


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