Monday, September 18, 2017

Local man dies in T.J. Maxx parking lot after wife tells him "It'll only take 5 minutes"-

This Monday afternoon Daphne City Police received a distressing call about a man found unresponsive in a shopping center parking lot. Emergency crews arrived quickly, and with the help of the "Jaws of Life" they were able to pull the man out, only to find the man had already passed. Two hours later after the man's corpse had been taken away and the crime scene was being cleaned up a woman arrived after exiting T.J. Maxx. The woman was Theresa Johnson, apparently the spouse of the victim. She confessed to telling her husband she would only be in the store for "5 minutes or so", when in reality it had been approximately 4 hours. 

Theresa johnson, age 28
Police detectives later searched through recent texts between the couple, finding out that the woman had also told her husband she just needed a "Black shirt to go with those jeans", but eye witnesses reported seeing Johnson purchasing many garments, a pair of headphones, and some weird olives stuffed with smoked Gouda cheese. Johnson was taken to Daphne City Jail with a $100k bail. 
The latest autopsy found that Mr. Johnson had resorted to eating chunks of his floor mat and drinking the condensed sweat that collected on the windshield. The marks on the ceiling of the Toyota Camry indicated that he even marked the minutes that passed until his untimely death. 
The family of the victim is planning to sue T.J. Maxx and not the wife. They claim that Maxx purposely scrambles all of their items together without any order to create chaos. They say not even the most skilled shopper can find what they need in 5 minutes. T.J. Maxx has yet to respond.



 




24 comments:

  1. She should have cracked the window.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Why couldn't she have left the car running or a window cracked for the man?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Why couldn't she have left the car running or a window cracked for the man?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Is this real? He didn't have sense to get out of the car?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yea my thoughts.... Was he handicap and couldn't? Doesn't say .... So I'm curious why couldn't he just get out

      Delete
  5. This has to be fake! She's 28 seriously he ate chunks of the floor mat and lucked condensation of the window and counter the minutes... Why wouldn't a grown man get out of the car???

    ReplyDelete
  6. It was 4 hours, he was a grown man. Why did he have to eat the floor mat? 4 hours is not long. Even if he's handicapped I'm sure he could have honked the horn for attention or opened the door... This makes no sense.
    And then suing tjmaxx... Lol they're set up is not a maze. Wth is going on with this shitty story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I mean not long enough that he would be starving. Long if stuck in a hot car (which I'm not sure he was stuck)

      Delete
  7. Bless his precious heart. This so tragic. He probably could not figure out how to open the snacks that I'm positive she left in case of an emergency. His fragile little brain just could not remember the 57 times she showed him how to open them and open the car door. What more could he do to survive such a horrific situation? Being all alone out there for all that time. SO dangerous. I pray he went peacefully.

    ReplyDelete
  8. What the hell?? The man was not locked in the car! He could have gotten out, gone in a store or restaurant. This is stupid! Is it a real story??? Or a sick joke???

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hard to imagine that after all this time, people seem not to realize that this page is satire.

    ReplyDelete
  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  11. It's cute that some of you think this is a real story lol

    ReplyDelete
  12. Why didn’t he just get out the car and go in inside where it’s cool. Or text her and tell her he going to get food. I’m confused

    ReplyDelete
  13. That's what I would do, if my wife left me in the car for 4 hours - eat the floor mat - or on second thought unlock the door and walk into the store and find her. Something is missing from the story - was the guy disabled maybe or this is (most likely) a joke.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But I can see someone actually filing a lawsuit like that.

      Delete
  14. This has got to be fake news!!!! How old was this man? Was he disabled and couldn't get out? Again Fake News and a harsh impractical joke. Stick a fork in me I'm done

    ReplyDelete
  15. Sarcasm was once referred to as the “highest form of intelligence” by Oscar Wilde. Some of ya'll are lacking in that department.

    ReplyDelete

  BREAKING: Changes to the First Baptist church steeple are nearing completion early Thursday morning. The church is graciously accepting a ...