Wednesday, May 31, 2017

200 pound Viagra unearthed downtown thought to be cause in crazy growth of Fairhope population.



Late Wednesday afternoon a young tourist noticed something suspicious while walking his dog down Magnolia and Summit street. The dog furiously started digging in a vacant lot uncovering a large object smurf blue in color. Authorities arrived along with local archaeologists in hopes to discover something amazing, but what they did find erected their curiosity even more.

An on-call pharmacist identified the object as Viagra, an erectile dysfunction medication produced by Pfizer. The dosage is enough to kill a normal sized human and would perhaps even give a dozen Giraffes stiff necks for weeks.

Fairhope has been recently named the fastest growing city in Alabama as most locals are very aware. Our growth is happening at an alarming rate too without any sign of stopping. Now scientists know for sure why this is happening to Fairhope, but is it too late? Pfizer representatives say that the pill has been buried for at least months, more than enough time to absorb the chemicals within, so the growth may continue for much longer. The representative for the company did tell the public "If the growth lasts
for up to 4 years, please contact your doctor immediately.".

On the contrary to the general public, contractors in the area are reporting feeling more "satisfied" than they have in many, many years. One foremen reported "with all this work I'm getting I really feel like a young man again!.". Others are not so happy about the flood of contractors pouring in, reporting that the competition is stiffer than it's ever been before in the area.

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